It means all the effort and time I wasted on something has been concluded.
It's better to say that I'm afraid of Beginnings because it means there was an ending. The story is done.
Soon...
I have to face a new chapter from a new part of my life.
I have to start all over again. Zero friends. Zero acquaintance.
I am, of course, very afraid.
Starting over again is not a joke. Fear. Anxiety.
I cannot avoid those.
I'm afraid.
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